Pick’n up (cheers and groans)!

One of my most favorite things to do. Or… one of the most annoying things to deal with. I seem to change my mind from week to week which as a woman, is my prerogative. The trick is to not take the whole thing too seriously (although that doesn’t always work) and to sit back and enjoy the rollercoaster ride of the single life. Pay your admission to the bouncer at the door, buckle yourself into your barstool and hang on tight. Some rides are a screaming blast, some a little boring and calm and some a little too excessive resulting in some cookie-tossing and a hangover.

Okay, so lets look at the ups and downs…

Pick’n up isn’t reserved for the bars. It can happen ANYWHERE!! You can be in an elevator, at the grocery store, in line at the bank, the waiting room at a doctor’s office (ideally not an STD clinic), at the drugstore (ideally not after coming from the STD clinic), walking your dog, at a restaurant, work, church…yes that’s right. Even God fearing people hook up. Now most of these locations have never happened to me, but the ones that have I found to be pretty damn exciting. Being caught off guard by an incredibly cute stranger? Sign me up! -side bar- this only really works for me if the cute guy also has confidence and can work some serious game.

Nothing annoys me more then some creepy dude approaching me and acting all slimy and using really lame lines! Sorry boys but you’re gonna have to brush up on the creativity if you are actually going to try and bust out some ‘original material’. One piece of advice? Make us laugh. Oh, and make eye contact.
(Okay that was two pieces.)

It’s impossible to talk about the art/luck of pick’n up without addressing the good ol’ one night stand. (Although that’s another whole blog entry all it’s own) Now for those of you who can partake in the one-off and not even think about it the next day (these ‘people’ are for the most part men) you’ve got some skills sista. There was definitely a point in my life where I was capable of having emotionless sex, but now it seems more like sexless emotions I deal with. So I neither judge nor envy my sisters who still travel in that world. I only hope that they don’t use that little gift as leverage in the hopes of making the cute boy they just met their new bf. That’s a dangerous physical (see STD clinic reference above) and emotional game that can scare off the guy who was just looking to play hide the sausage, and/or leave the girl feeling used and objectified. Not the ideal outcome. Keep your heads on straight girls. Don’t be too quick to give it up to some guy you like. Wait to see if he deserves it. It’s time that all women realize our self worth and not give it up to just anyone.

Okay, now where were we on this whole pick up thing…

Locations. Right. In my opinion it is usually best to try and meet someone outside of a bar. But we all know how easy it is to go to the hot spot on a busy night and find that cute someone and bing, bang, boom, you’re smack in the middle of the classic bar pickup. Okay, so it’s not the worst thing to meet someone at a bar. Lord knows I’ve done it. In fact I have many friends who have met their partners in crime at a bar. So I know it can work. But my gut tells me the odds are against it. In my experience, meeting someone in a bar normally doesn’t work out to a lifelong romance. But then again I also haven’t found him in the elevator, the grocery store or the line at the bank.

For those of you who have lost confidence in being able to find that perfect someone, trust me I know how you feel. But you have to stay positive! If you don’t you’ll become the bitter angry drunk girl sitting alone at the end of the bar. Yeah, that’s attractive. That’s the kind of hot man-bait Mr Right is looking for! No, you need to stay positive and happy because for one it’s a much more appealing energy to be around so you have a better chance of getting free drinks from a boy who wants to hang with you, and two because if you don’t happen to bump into your Romeo that night…at least YOU’RE HAPPY! Which is really what your goal is anyway, right? So maybe it’s not about location and where you are on the outside, but where you are on the inside that draws you to your perfect match.

Okay, that was so cheesy I just have to stop typing for a bit to throw up.

Okay, I’m back.
Anyway, you get my point.

So get out there and have some fun and whether it’s for the next forty years or the next forty minutes, enjoy each other!

Peace

Jill

2 Responses to “Can I Buy You a Dink? (not a type O)”

1. park5300 on October 18th, 2007 2:31 pm

   haha… good post.

   I think it’s less about location and more about perception. Face it, most people meet at a bar, unless they’re still in school where random interaaction with the opposite sex is a facet of ordinary life. But once you’re out in what the rest of us refer to as real life, it’s tough.

   You can’t hit on girls at the gym because it’s creepy. You can’t hit on girls at work because it’s harrassment. You can’t hit on girls on the street because… well… it’s the street, perv.

   Catch the trend here? The only place where the field is really level is at the gym. Signals can get crossed up easily almost anywhere, but the slate is clean at the bar. People generally go out in order to get drunk and at the very least flirt with perfect strangers. Not to say people are going out trying to bag everything that walks past, but everybody likes to feel goo about themselves. The bar is the one place guys can approach (more than 1) woman and be safely, quickly rejected without fear of swift, horrid retribution.

   Alright, that’s obviously fairly simplified and cynical, but there is some truth to it. We all “hate” the bar and the creepiness that comes with it, but we bludgeon ourselves into thinking there truly are no other options.

   But I’ve done it. I’ve hit on girls and picked girls up at the bar more than once. I don’t have a problem talking to people - I’m confident, perenially positive, and entertaining. Alright, funny. I get away with funny. That’s my only angle. I can’t do creep (that’s my opinion. Who knows, I could be the creepiest dude on the block, denial is the first stage in any situation) and I wouldn’t be attracted to a woman who responded to the creep, either. Being a pass-out drunk doesn’t help one’s chances, either.

   I think you nailed it when you said confidence is important. A bar can be a decent enough place to meet someone as long as you lay your ground rules from the start. Girls just need to be themselves. That’s an attractive quailty. Along with big breasts.

   My friends and I used to have a theory. We called it the Hatred Factor. The hatred factor is how much you want to leave the room the moment after you’ve slept with a woman. This factor is directly related to how fast you could get a woman into bed. If it was the first night you met, the factor could be 10. The second you’re finished, you need to get out. A meeting. Church. Baseball. Circumcision. Whatever.

   The easier it was to get into the sack, the quicker we want out. It’s not rocket science. Girls know this stuff, too. But it happens all the time. The best relationships I’ve ever had have been with girls who have put the brakes on and made me wait. Even if they didn’t want to. The longer you make us wait, the further down the scale that Hatred Factor is going to slide. Once you’ve got us between 0-1, you’re golden (There’s always going to be a little flee instinct there. It’s genetics).

   It’s all about respect. I think you nailed it on the head, it just has less to do with location and more to do with how we interact with one another in any given locale. The bar comes with some inherent issues - you’re almost expecting to take someone home - but it’s still the easiest place to meet people.

   Or you could always go back to university. The 25 year old guy in first year was always the coolest, wasn’t he?

2. JillC on October 18th, 2007 3:41 pm

   i love hearing the other side of the coin!! i want more guys to leave comments on this site so that we can finally have some cheat notes for the opposite sex! This show is cheat notes for men…its time us girls got some cheat notes ourselves!!

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