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Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is
You meet this incredible guy who is smart, polite, sexy and has some serious game but…he’s broke. Do you continue dating him or do you hit the eject button? Why is it that money and status is so incredibly important to some women? After all, it doesn’t make a person complete or kind or even the sort you want to hang around with let alone hook your wagon to for the rest of your life. As Caroline Frolic says on our show “A-holes come in all socio-economic brackets.”
So what is it then that some women find so appealing about men that are thick in the wallet but thin on personality? Is it really worth sacrificing your happiness and self-respect for the newest purse or a dinner at the hottest new restaurant? Can Prada really help you find your spiritual bliss? Maybe I’m missing something. I mean there is nothing that I consider more torturous then having to sit through a delicious meal with great wine and someone as interesting to talk to as a wet rag. Usually if I’m stuck with a dude whose best quality is his ability to pay for an expensive bottle of wine I’ll have to chug it just to make it through the date!
Now I know I am inviting some serious criticism from women who may prefer to be taken care of and who actively seek out men who can provide a cushy life for them and living up to the label of a “dependant”. But think about it girls. What do you gain by having someone do all the work for you? How do you know you can take care of yourself if you had to and had no other option but to rely on your own abilities? Are you confident you could keep your head above water? Not to mention the incredible feeling of self-respect and confidence that comes with knowing you don’t “need” someone for monetary things. You can acquire all the riches and security all by your little-ole-self.
But to be fair, lets look at the other side of the coin.
No girl wants to pay for everything on a date either. As much as I refuse to date someone based solely on how much money he has, it also gets a little tired when you’re having to front all the cash for everything you and your partner do. I mean, as much as I’m happy to pay half (or in some cases all) for dinners, drinks or whatever we are doing, sometimes a girl wants to feel like a princess and that means not having to pick up the cheque. I was recently floored a couple days ago when I went out for a fantastic dinner with a great guy and when the cheque came and I offered to pay half, he vehemently refused. A total shock to me since I can’t remember the last time I have been asked out for dinner and not had to pay half.
So I guess the moral of my story here is that it’s sometimes nice to be treated to a nice dinner or a fun night out for drinks or whatever your choice of date may be but I refuse to be one of those girls on the prowl for men who will “take care” of them like they’re some damsel in distress. We need to step up and not always rely on prince valiant to swoop in and save us from our financial woes.
peace
Jill
Loading ...View Episode 49: Money and Status
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Rate This (average: 4.67 )Sizing Things Up
Here at twentysomething we try to tackle the hard hitting issues Sexual harassment, objectification of women in the media, anxiety and depression… And now it is time to add to that list one of the most important issues of our time…
Does Size Actually Matter???
It’s an exhausted topic that always seems to pop up anytime we start dating a new guy. It’s generally up there with “what does he do for a living?” “how does he dress?” and “are there any psycho girlfriends still in the picture?”
But why is it SUCH a big deal?? Unless we’re talking about some unusual birth defect, generally you can you can find a way to make the little fella work. You just have to be crafty. After all ladies nothing is going to make a boy who is on the smaller side of the spectrum feel even smaller then if you have a look of shock or horror or repressed laughter on your face when you first discover the issue at hand. Remember, if you can find it… you can get around it. For example… step away from those boring old missionary positions (yawn) and try climb’n up on that cute lil’thing. You as the receiver have a much better shot at making it to the land of glory, and…well… it gives him something to look at. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Head into a bookstore or a sex shop and pick up a book on different positions and have a blast working your way through all the new techniques. Just stay away from joke books that may upset him like “Peter Piper With The Pickle Pecker”
Making this kind of effort will boost his ego knowing that you’re not bothered by the mini-pack and willing to work on it together.
If after all your hard efforts your boy is still feeling a little self-conscious then think of some naughty little phrases you can whisper in his ear next time you guys are gettin down. That is always a sure fire way to have a man forget about his shortcomings.
Speaking of shortcomings, one of the things we brought up in this week’s episode on this topic is who perpetuates this myth that guys have to be eight inches if they want to feel cocky about their size. I say NO WAY! Eight inches can sometimes hurt. I’ll bet if I took a survey I would find that the majority of women prefer an average six inch’r. So who perpetuates this myth?? Is it women who keep it going through their relentless conversations with their girlfriends where we break down and analyze every detail that could be possibly analyzed or is it the men in the locker room? I mean what else do you have to look at when you are surrounded by naked dudes? Eventually you’re going to get curious and wonder what the guy next to you is packin’. I mean give me a break if you don’t think women look at and compare breasts…oh yeah boys…it happens!!
So lets try and break the mold here and accept that the size of a man’s package really doesn’t matter all that much. I mean, placing so much importance on something you can’t fix really seems kind of high school at this point in our lives don’t you think? You might as well work with what you got and perfect your technique so that if you fall a little short you have serious game to back it up with. Trust me, your girl will be less likely to notice if you are confident with what you’ve got and can work around it to still make her toes curl. And if you fall on the other end of the spectrum with something that is too big, well I don’t know what to tell you.
One man’s blessing is another woman’s curse.
Peace
Jill
View Episode 48: Does Size Matter
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A Little Guidance Please!
Imagine if you could have a little guardian thirty-something angel that could sit on your shoulder and give you advice to help you navigate your way through your twenties? Whisper in your ear when you’re hanging with Mr. Wrong, or talk some sense into you when you’re caught up in some pointless drama. I mean we’ve all had moments or days…or months where we’re filled with uncertainty. Unsure if we just made a wrong turn somewhere or if you missed the memo letting you know what you should have done. My guardian thirty-something angel would be a constant companion who has been there, done that, and always ready to offer some sage advice…without charging $150 an hour.
See, I’m the type of person who analyzes things TO DEATH! So I take great comfort in talking to people, specifically women, who are a little older then me and have already been down this road. As a result, for the episode we just finished shooting I decided to bring a good girlfriend of mine who is “on the happier side of 30″ (her quote, not mine) onto the show to discuss the perspective she has gained moving through her 20s and into her 30s. Now I don’t know if this is just me but nothing helps assess what the hell I’m doing and realign my “life game plan” than talking to someone who’s been on the ride a little longer than me.
Because that’s the thing, right? You can’t recognize it when you’re in it. You can’t see the forest for the trees. Or you can’t see that he’s a knob (even though all your girlfriends are telling you) until after you’ve dumped him. You have to live it to learn it. Drag huh? But then once you’ve learned it all you’re really old and then you run the risk of forgetting everything! What the f…
Okay, hang on. I’m getting off topic.
Whenever I’m having a personal emotional mini-crisis I try to reflect back on the last six years of my life (since I turned 20) and logically think about how much I have grown. How much I’ve learned and matured. Different situations and emotional hurdles that I’ve been able to overcome because of the strength of my character and resilience. It’s not an easy exercise, but it can be an encouraging and uplifting thing to do.
The way I see it is you can learn and grow through life by viewing unfortunate occurrences as catastrophes… or as opportunities to learn what life and the universe is trying to tell you or show you. I guess that is why I thought ’20s vs 30s’ would make a great topic for this week’s show, because sometimes you need to hear it from someone else before you start believing it yourself.
“Turn your wounds into wisdom.”
- Oprah Winfrey
Peace
Jill
View Episode 47: 20 vs. 30
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Surprise!!!
We all know how steamy things can be when you first start dating someone new. It’s hard to tear yourselves away from each other. The sizzle will ever end, right? But what about when you’ve been dating awhile and the novelty wears off. When things start to…fizzle? What do you do to keep the fire blazing? After all who hasn’t been in a relationship where eventually you don’t want to have sex every single night using the same techniques or moves (yawn) as the night before. It happens to pretty much all couples at some point or another.
So, how do you keep your partner hooked?
I guess everyone has different ways techniques to get over the humping hump, but in my opinion a little surprise can go a long way. I am totally one of those girls who can get bored easily if things become stagnant. So my advice? Surprise your partner. It doesn’t have to be an elaborate thing (although I think pretty much every girl will tell you that a little romantic gesture will go a really, REALLY long way) just something simple and from the heart. Or something spontaneous, sweaty and a little rough, for all those girls out there who roll like I do 
I mean it doesn’t take a lot of effort to throw on a cute outfit (I am speaking to the girls right now since we are talking about creating a mood, not killing it by your guy surprising you dressed in a teddy) and surprise your boy the minute he walks in the door. Don’t think for one minute that that little effort won’t make him weak in the knees and put a little spice back into the relationship.
But what about the girls who may be a little more timid? Easy. All you have to do is use your imagination. After all you know your boy better then I do, think of something that he loves to do or really gets him going. It doesn’t have to be sexual. One of the best surprises I have ever got was my boyfriend at the time picked me up from work, and knowing how much I love to play poker and down a few Cadbury Cream Eggs, brought me to his place where he had his poker table all set up with candles and a game ready to go with wine and said eggs ready for consuming!! It took hardly any effort but meant the world to me. And don’t think for one second that that boy didn’t get rewarded that night for such a sweet gesture!
So ya see? It doesn’t have to be an overtly sexual gesture to put a little spice back into your union, just take into consideration what your partner likes and use a little imagination and trust me it will go farther then you think!
Have fun you naughty vixens!
Jill
View Episode 46: Keep Him Hooked
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