Blog Post
A Guy Walks Into A Bar…
And within a few hours he is drunkenly grinding and slobbering all over some equally inebriated girl whose skirt has now become a belt. At 2:00am they stumble out of the bar, hale a cab, and go back to his place and have a night filled with drunken sex.
This is pretty much a normal and accepted sight to see at any bar or club wherever you live. But why is it then that the girl usually wakes up with this overwhelming sense of guilt whereas the guy wakes up with nothing more then a hangover and an eagerness to high five his buddies?? Why are women made to feel tortured with guilt if they want to have meaningless sex while men can have emotionless flings and be rewarded for it?
Why can’t a woman have sex like a man??
I mean, is it really THAT bad to have had a couple one night stands under your belt throughout your twenties? Afterall, isn’t this the stage in our lives where we’re suppose to be deciding what we like and what we don’t like? What we will do and what we won’t? Who we want to spend our time with and who we don’t want to give the time of day to? What happens if some women don’t want to be bothered with the occasional hassles and complications of having a relationship? Are those women not entitled to any physical pleasure or intimacy?
Personally I really don’t see the harm in getting up in the morning, saying thanks Jim, and leaving. Unless…his name was Brent. That could be awkward. But as long as you’re both consenting adults, you’re there for the same reason and you’re safe about it…what’s the problem?
So who is it really who makes us feel so damn ashamed for having a couple illicit nights of no-strings sex? I am not so sure it’s the guys anymore. I think it’s other women. I mean how many guys would label a girl that is confident and knows she wants, a slut? Not that many. How many girls would do that? COUNTLESS!! What I don’t understand is why.
Why do girls feel as though they have to bring each other down just to make themselves feel better? I don’t think guys do that. Do they? Okay, maybe when they’re playing sports and trash talking. And when they’re drinking with their buddies and trash talking. Or around the water cooler at work and trash talk… Look, the point is we all need to realize that we’re no longer in high-school where who you fooled around with could make or break you in school. We’re in our twenties now. If you want to go out and have sex with 7 guys in 7 days that’s your choice and it doesn’t affect anyone but you. Oh, and the guy(s) you were with. And maybe the prophylactic market. See? You’re actually helping the economy!
So stop letting insecure, jealous, or just straight up self-righteous people tell you what to do or who you are because of your actions. If you are happy with your choices then that’s all that matters. You having an illicit romp doesn’t affect any of your girlfriends. So the next time they try to guilt you and make you feel bad for the fun you had the night before, stand up for yourself and tell them you appreciate their opinion but it’s truly none of their business and you stand behind your decision. And if for some reason it was a mistake to hop into bed with that guy? Well then you’ve learned your lesson and will know better next time. Enough of the scolding from outside sources, be confident in yourself and make your own decisions.
It’s about time the playing field was leveled with men and women where sex is concerned. After all, anything they can do we can do… better. ; )
“One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other.” ~ Jane Austen
Peace
Jill
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Dear Ms. Clark,
I have to say that I disagree with the views of the entire article. To me, sex is not a game of “fairness” between women and men (like “why can’t a woman have sex “like a man” ?”). Sex, to me, is not about lust. It is LOVE, which is why I shall wait to be married until I have sex. I refuse to play this “game”, as you have made it out to be. I want to obey my God’s rules on sexual behavior with honor and integrity since He made sex in the first place. It is a gift from Him to us, to be used between a man and woman in marriage.
Personally, I would never be happy having sex with numerous women. Not only is it against my Lord’s instructions (see Galatians 5:19), but all it will leave you with is a pit of emptiness in your heart, be it in the near or far future.
Thank you for hearing me out. I am not judging you or anyone else, as that is not my job (Matthew 7- “Judge not, that you not be judged”), but as I said in another comment, I shall take a Biblical stand on sexual behavior, and I am proud to do so.
Very sincerely and respectfully,
-Cory H.
Hey Cory
once again I appreciate your comments and thank you for taking the time to post your opinion but once again that is just your opinion…and I realize a lot of women probably agree with you but on the other hand a lot of women probably disagree…some of us don’t want to be told by some religious text how we should or shouldn’t feel about the way we behave sexually
And as much as I appreciate your post you also have to take into account that you are 18 (i believe you said that in your other comment) and I feel as some people get older their perspective on sex may change or at least soften a little. I am not saying your views specifically will change since you seem pretty passionate about them but when I was 18 I was in a long term relationship and felt similar to the way you currently do, maybe not as conservative but I could relate to you more back then
And one thing I did learn as I got older and started dating more is that dating is definitely a game…there are certain unspoken rules that everyone abides by whether they want to or not…at least that is my experience with dating and by listening to many girls vent about their personal life….just my opinion
once again thanks for taking the time to let me know what you’re thinking!!
keep it coming!
peace
J