Episodes
Episode 51: Parenting Your Parents
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Well my dad died when I was seven and I feel like my mom is depending on me. She will not care about her life because she’s always anxious about mine. I can’t take this crap, so I’ve stopped giving her news, she doesn’t even have my phone number. She will not yet want to realise that I have grown up and that my life is going better than hers. Everytime I get to see her she misjudges me and she’s hanging on me like a life buoy. Cut the umbilical cord, mom!
i think it is important to have a relationship with your mom though…she loves you unconditionally and wants the best for you and maybe she just can’t get over her husband dying…or maybe it messed with her more then she let on
but maybe you should sit her down and rationally explain to her how she makes you feel and how smothered you feel by her….i don’t think you should just cut her out though, you might regret it later on
just a thought
Hey Sophie
I hear what you’re saying…. I have a lot of friends who have anxiety when it comes to MOM!
If it’s any consolation, my Dad is ALWAYS on me about getting a real career, and about being in debt, and about not having a steady relationship with a guy… I just tell him to be nice or I won’t thank him when I win my Oscar.
But… realistically… you’re relationship with your mom isn’t going to change over night, but you need to definitely address some issues. Bottom line ask yourself how you’d feel if you lost your Mom too. That’d suck. BIG TIME!
It’s tough when you want to be an adult. But shutting her out of your life is technically acting like a kid still.
If you want to have an adult relationship with your Mom, you have to put your foot down and show her how you’ve grown up. Why don’t you suggest going for lunch and pedicures. That’s an adult thing to do.
I had to have the talk with my Dad too when I was 19yrs old. I told him that I do need him in my life, just not to cut my food and tie up my shoes.
I told him what I wanted him to be there for… i.e - buying my first car, buying my own bedroom/house furniture, hanging pictures, giving me advice on things he’s good at…
Not sure if this helps… but it’s worth a try.
Unfortunately we can’t choose our parents, but we can choose the type of relationship we have with them!!!
Good LUCK!