Now that we are getting close to the holidays there are Christmas parties galore. It can be a crazy social time with lots of friends and family, and of course…the office party. (insert climactic horror music here)

This is one party that if you aren’t careful and in complete control, you could do some serious damage to your rep at work. You wanna be able to stride past the water cooler the next day without fear of hearing your name whispered. So one thing you should always make sure you steer clear of? The dreaded IOPH! (illicit office party hookup)

Now no one is saying you can’t hook up with someone you’ve had your eye on at work. By all means, go for it. I mean what a perfect occasion to do so! There’s mistletoe. You’re both feeling more relaxed and at ease. Flirting seems to come so much more naturally with a couple drinks in your system. Assuming it’s just a couple of drinks and you’re not sloshed and showing off to the room how easy it is to remove your bra while keeping your shirt on.

Just keep in mind that you are representing yourself at a work function. This is the place that helps you pay your rent and buy groceries. Maybe telling your boss he’s got a cute butt and you’d love to check out his candy-cane…isn’t the best career move. Picture yourself at work the next day. Standing on a very quiet elevator with your co-workers wondering what their thinking… “It’s too quiet. Nobodies looking at me! Why won’t they look at me?!?! They know what I did! Sweet Jesus they know!!” And that’s just the beginning of your day.

But if you are hell bent on hooking up, here are a few rules to follow.

1. Do it on the DL! Don’t sneak off into a corner that everyone can still see you in and have a make-out session that would rival horny teenagers. Save yourself a little dignity and leave the party. Separately. Go continue the making-out (or whatever else) somewhere a little less work-y. You’ll be glad you didn’t display your hottest pre-sex lap-dance in front of the senior execs. Which leads me to…
2. Sexy lap-dances or dirty dancing in general. Avoid it at all cost. It’s hot to you because…well…you’re probably a little tipsy. There’s a good chance that to others you look like a drunk stripper who just finished her shift and still has some moves left in her. There should be no grinding into anyone’s crotch, and there definitely should not be any girl-on-girl sex dancing! You girls know what I am talking about. Dancing with your best girlfriend while your male co-workers named Woody and Mr. Happy sip their eggnog and ogle. Not a good move. Once again, this type of behavior will make that awful hang-over you’re rockin’ at work the next day, the least of your problems! And finally…
3. Beware of the frequency at which you swear, and the volume at which you do so. It’s easy to be really excited to get together with all the staff and have a couple drinks and party the night away. It’s also easy to overdo it and end up screaming “What the *&%# is this about?” during a speech your boss was giving. (I still remember my special ‘talk’ with my boss first thing the next morning.)

So take my advice and carry yourself with an air of class and you will stay on your employer’s good side allowing you to keep both your dignity and your income. Feel free to enjoy the things in life that will land you on Santa’s “naughty” list.

Just not at the office party.

Have fun!

Peace

Jill

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