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Violence Against Women
I think women have a hard time recognizing abuse when it’s emotional and/or psychological. It’s harder to pick up on since it doesn’t leave a bruise or a welt or a scar. Instead it eats away at you from the inside and affects you to the core.
Now I understand that without knowing you or your situation it would be impossible for me to have a sense of whether your hooked up with Prince Charming or hanging with Satan. But in case you are having some concerns and are in need of a supportive voice…please watch this weeks episode. Here are a few signs to watch out for in an abusive personality.
If your partner tells you what to do/makes decisions for you and expects you to obey them. If they have ever made you feel bad about yourself, publicly insulted you or made fun of you. If they have cut you off from your family or friends, made threats to hurt you or someone you love, made threatening looks or gestures to you or broken things in front of you, hurt your pets, destroyed your property, or blamed their abusive or violent behavior on anything other then themselves then you may be in a situation that needs to be addressed.
The first thing I’d recommend is communication. Are they aware they have a problem? Are they willing to get help? If the answer to these questions is “no”, then you may need to start making choices about whether you want to leave this toxic situation or keep on subjecting yourself to this subtle yet devastating behavior.
It’s something that cannot be taken lightly and I would recommend you seek counseling from a qualified professional that knows how to deal with these situations. I know it can be tough realizing that you are in a situation like this. But you’re not alone. Some abusers can be extremely subtle and it can be hard to recognize the signs when 80% of the time things are great between the two of you. Or at least you think it is.
What breaks my heart about women caught up in these destructive relationships is that most of them are so emotionally and psychologically beaten down that they believe they’re worthless and that no one would ever love them. I am here to tell you that that is absolutely NOT true.
There are caring people out there that will be more respectful, kinder and will love and appreciate you no matter what. Men would never dream of physically hurting you or psychologically beating you down. Instead they provide a healthy environment where you can feel free to be yourself, make your mistakes and learn from them instead of being ridiculed for them.
For more information there are a TON of sites on the web and you can always contact your local shelter for tips or help on leaving an abusive relationship. I have also linked a couple of sites in the links section that can help you plan your way out.
Please don’t be scared to leave, you are only standing up for yourself and improving your situation for the better.
peace
J
Loading ...View Episode 71: Violence Against Women
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Rate This (average: 4.43 )Ex Marks The spot
Break ups are the hardest thing - no matter who you are or where you come from. It seems to be the one thing that everyone can relate to. I am definitely no expert on how to deal, but what I do know is that I have been through it a lot. Some I feel I could have handled a lot better, and some I really believe I handled just right. The good news,
is that if you handle it wrong, there is always time to make it right and apologize down the road which I just had to do recently with an ex.
The key to a breakup is DISTANCE!! If you really want a clean break, you have to not talk, not email, not see the ex for a while. Ladies, STOP going to the bars that you know they will be at because you want them to see you looking fabulous. It may make them jealous, however it is not healthy for you. I see and hear about this oh too often and it is so obvious. Everyone see’s through it, and the only one hurt in the end is you.
If you are dealing with a stalking ex - as in you are done and he is still showing up at your doorstep and calling you and making you crazy, my only advice is to go live with someone for a week or so just to get away from it. You need to be surrounded by people who love and care about you at times like that.
There is no right or wrong way to deal when you are hurting, or hurting someone else. Just make sure that you handle it in a mature way and be honest with them. It’s kind of like the “he’s just not that into you” approach. If you tell them straight up “I’m not attracted to you” (or whatever the reason is) - that is something that can never be fixed, and you might find that they can accept the break up easier and move on and leave you alone. If you beat around the bush, you are in trouble!! You will be “dealing” with them until you give them closure.
Happy Dumping Ladies!!
Xoxoxox
Katie
View Episode 70: Ex Marks The Spot
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Does Size Actually Matter?
Well it’s episode 69 this week and we here at TwentySomething thought we would celebrate this glorious number with our most requested topic on the site. We figured we would give all you guys a treat and revisit the age old debate…Does size actually matter?
Now some girls may not agree with me but I truly don’t think size matters all that much. I mean there are other appendages that you men can use to please us women. Now I agree that it is not the most desirable situation to be walking around with a bread stick instead of French stick, but you can work around it. Fingers, tongues, and battery powered fun come to mind! Embrace who you are boys. (double meaning intended) Learn to accept your shortcomings (double meaning intended) and make the best of it. After all, the right girl will be accepting of you no matter what.
But how about the other side of the spectrum? The side that truly scares the bageebers out me. What if your guy is too big? Now this might just be me but anything over 8″ stresses me out. Maybe I am just a big baby but that HURTS and sometimes it’s way harder to work around then someone who is 4″. I am sure there are a bunch of girls yelling at their computer screens right now (including SP and probably Sam) but I just think if I guy is packing a monster, it causes more problems than I care to deal with. It’s kinda like cramming a family of five into a Smart Car.
Are there any girls out there who agree with me and prefer to stick to the middle of the road and rock out with our boy’s 4-8″ inchers??? And remember fellas, it’s all about who you are not what you’ve got. So walk tall and carry whatever sized stick you have!
Peace
J
View Episode 69: Does Size Matter - Part 2
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Testing…Testing…
It’s been awhile since I’ve graduated school, but there’s still one test I take annually that I get nervous about…
I don’t know if it’s the stirrups, the awkwardness of the office, or the fact that I’m spreadin’ em without so much as even a drink being bought for me, but you guessed it…
I’m talkin’ about the annual Pap/STD testing!!
It sucks. Nobody enjoys it. I’m just glad my female orifice allows a cue-tip to pass through with only mild discomfort.
WE ALL HAVE TO GET IT, or should be getting tested regularly! What I get the most nervous about, is I know personally I’m clean, (Thank you, thank you, thank you!) but what happens if I dabble with danger, and my partner isn’t as safe as I’ve been? How do I even approach that subject? What if he lies because he just wants to get laid, and his Chlamydia doesn’t bother him so he doesn’t think to mention it?
You can’t necessarily fire off a string of questions a la interrogation style and hope for the best. i.e. - So what’s you’re favorite colour? What’s your favorite food? Your first dog’s name was…? Oh and do you have a reoccurring case of herpes? How fond are you of the HIV?
Not really the most romantic topic to chat about, but I find that the best way to approach the conversation is to put it out there. ESPECIALLY if you’re not using protection! My last partner didn’t particularly enjoy the ribbed- ridin’- raincoat, so I took a HUGE leap of faith and let my boy bareback, meanwhile I’m thinkin’ the whole time, please don’t give me syphilis, (poke) please don’t give me The HIV, (poke) please don’t give me one of over 40 infectious Herpe strains, (poke) please don’t give me a humping trophy, oh dear, ohhhh dear….
In hindsight I probably shouldn’t have trusted him so early on in the relationship, it’s a worry especially since he was known to be a fibber, so what/who’s to say he didn’t lie to me about being ‘clean’? Bottom line - its important to have an honest safety chat, more important then the commitment talk, more important than meeting the parents, and definitely more important then worrying when to say the ‘L’ word!
Stay safe, and protect your pink parts, because waking up to a broccoli like formation in your bikini area is not attractive!
Get the Glove to fit!
SP
View Episode 68: Are You Clean?
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