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Episode 69: Does Size Matter - Part 2
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hey Girls,
another great video. i think this is a great help to guys. its positive & enlightening as much as it is informative. a lot of different approaches this time around. J.C. mentioned about guys talking about how small they are before they have sex. def has to be a downer. i find talking any sorta negativity is bad regardless if its a friendship or relationship. the mind picks up off vibrations & such comments portray a great deal of negativity which cannot help the mood or the sex. i have experienced girls that were very insecure about there chest. my best female friend would not remove her shirt cause of her insecurity. another friend thought she wasn’t proportional. its all internal negativity. its all about the love. i see intimacy as more or less an adventure. every woman is different from the next and has different preferences. its all in exploring. its good to hear J.C. shout out my number 4 is good. she also brought up the topic of short but thick. its rare but i fall into that category, larger in girth then length. i have stopped paying attention all together with the bad experience i just encountered recently. any way, i was out with friends one night & one said that if a guy has a huge …. he’ll approach any girl & the rest of the guys agreed. its typical stupidity in males really. just gotta turn down the volume of internal negativity. its similar to a woman’s insecurity with her breasts. i think a male’s insecurities may even be more due to the fact its the organ he uses for sexual intercourse, the one that suppose to bring him his greatest sense of pleasure. insecurities there has to diminish any sense of pleasure or at least make it decline. as i said i squashed my insecurity with the positivity i got here, my best female friend who i also help with her insecurities, and well my bad scare i went through this past month.
this experience has been very difficult & i didn’t deal with it very well at all. sad enough i found out today a friend of mine age 18 found out she has hpv and is in the treatment mode. i feel so sick & upset knowing this having gone through such a scare this past month. i have no intentions of sex until i am married. i fall into the 18-22 bracket and acknowledge the majority of people my age are not likely to meet the one at this age due to a lack of life experience.
so i wait till marriage marriage - the women i get with will have to have some sorta similar virtue of morality. not looking for the virgin Mary but no random. some in between. you here practice makes better & i don’t plan on getting practice till marriage. as man its hard with no release but i mean, this experience was so awful no amount of pleasure is worth such a risk of long term pain such as my friend. i got lucky & they say lightning doesn’t strike the same place twice but i am not willing to find out.
what now though? if this is the route i take & follow, give my circumstances as a young man, limited experience, and well the obvious of situation, i have faith i pick the right one for compatibility in terms of intellect, interests, love, commitment, sex, and intimacy? such a hard thing to think about. marriage for the rest of your life - sure sex gets better after each time. i guess its all about having faith. thanks again girls. great show. i am sure i am not the only guy you all have helped crush insecurities and worries. all the best, cheers & God blesss.
- James
Hey James
I don’t think you should cross off having sex before your married…it’s not a bad thing to have sex before your married you just have to be careful….wait til you find someone you trust and know well enough to talk about this too that way you each know the other’s circumstance and you can go with it from there
like you said you are still fairly young and have a lot to still experience, don’t count sex out just yet!
glad you liked the show!
J
Hey Jill!
I wanted to share my experience and thoughts on the topic. I believe size does matter.
I waited until I was twenty to have sex and my first partner was big in both size and girth (10 inches) and sex was limited because of the positions we could do without it hitting my cervix and causing me pain. I’ve found that for myself 8 inches is about ideal.
Just recently I hooked up with a guy who was small and we had borrowed a condom from a friend and it was too big on him….it was an immediate turn off and didn’t do anything for me. It wasn’t bad skill just no fullness. Maybe it’s more psychological.
Alia
hey everyone,
i have to agree with Alia, that it is psychological. i think the typical ideal personification of a man is one of dominance, strength, & power. the macho dominative confident male is a turn on for many women. however, i think mentality plays a huge roll in what we define as sexy. i am sure if you find “the one” & you fall in love, superficial non-sense wont matter or make a difference. two people will find a way to make things work. people give up way to easy. i don’t think people give the mind enough credit. when we find someone we are attracted too, surely physical characteristics pay a huge part in who we date, go out with, and who is in our bed. at the same time, we are drawn to a person’s intelligence, the way they think, there body language, how they respond. neurology provides that the brain picks up vibrations & when vibrating at a high frequency the mind interprets a ecstatic, blissful, positive state of mind or when vibrating at a lower frequency the mind interprets a negative, destructive, depressive mind set. every woman is different from the next. the machinery maybe the same but the preferences are typically different. its in the challenge of deciphering the women in exactly the right way & the mystery of it all that should be exciting. Shakespear’s midsummers night’s dream is a prime example. “Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, And therefore is wing’d Cupid painted blind.” - [Lysander]
when in our deepest level of pleasure during intimacy, its happening on a physical level but mentally too. if it wasn’t for our intellectual capacity, what would make us any different then animals in the wild? i would be a liar if i said breasts weren’t a turn on. i don’t care for breast size. i would be quite the hypocrite if i was superficial in that sense. for me its all about the love & despite sexual appeal, i need intellectual relationship. i am not a woman so i don’t know the difference between the actual situation. if there was an issue with the women i was with, as awkward of a topic it maybe for her to bring it up to me, i would prefer she does then fake it. you grow from knowledge. i have to say it is a confidence boast hearing J.C. say she is fine with even 4 inches. a man can’t really change it. however, he can change his approach in the bed room if something doesn’t work the right way. patience is a virtue. frustration is a waste. i am sure though if a relationship is the greatest thing to ever happen to a woman yet the size & sex is not at par, i am sure clicking on a mental intellectual level would make a difference. faith support in a man is key too. really good video. cheers girls. all the best.
James
Hi Alia
i hear ya about 8″ being enough and the whole cervix thing…that hurts!! that’s why i shy away from anything over that…not for me thank you very much! hahaha
thanks for checking out the site, glad you like it!
J
this whole size thing is no different in my opinion than the weight thing, the breast thing, the height thing, the ethnicity thing or color of your hair thing. or whatever it may be. its all just physical traits that for the most part we can’t change or will always be a part of us.
twentysomething did a show already about body image, i think this ties in as well. but i think that a lot of people are also hypocritical, no offense to anyone, but to be so rigid in specifics of “what you want” is silly and immature. “i only like 7 inches or more” is like some guy saying “i only like size zeros with a D cup chest”… equally preposterous.
good point MJ…thanks for putting in your 2 cents!!
lol thanks for throwing in the bulge thing we talked about. great show jill
…..hmmm talking about penises on episode 69 are you trying to tell us something? haha
hahaha i don’t know what you are talking about! haha…all i am doing is representin episode 69 hahaha
Hey Guys~
Just wanted to comment on MJ’s post…
“what you want” is silly and immature. “i only like 7 inches or more” is like some guy saying “i only like size zeros with a D cup chest”… equally preposterous.
-SAD thing is… is GUYS DO! A LOT OF THEM!
I know guys who’ll only date girls under 5′4″ that weigh less then 110lbs. I know guys who won’t date girls with naturally dark hair, because they hate if they have prickly hair on their legs, or strays in other regions…
As much as its silly, immature and ridiculous it’s true. I’ve stated that I prefer a certain type of penis, because I know if the guy doesn’t have much experience I’ll at least be able to enjoy it. Too big hurts and too small I can’t really feel it. I’ve been with all sides of the spectrum, so what’s wrong with having a preference?
You can travel all over Europe and still just love Italy. It’s nothing against Amsterdam or England!
and Jamestown, I hated hearing that you had such a horrible scare! Don’t give up, just take babysteps. Waiting till your married isn’t realistic anymore, that’s like saying I’m going to stay in doors all summer b/c I hate bees.
(AND I REALLY HATE them - I do!)
As for Bulges everytime I see one I think of you Dan, and giggle!
In terms of being hypocritical, I think it’s important to realize that a matter of preference - at least in my case - is based upon experience.
However, regardless of preference it has NO BARING whatsoever on falling in love with a man.
At the end of the day, regardless of length, girth, symmetry or proportion - a man’s penis size has nothing to do with his overall quality as a human being. Therefore, it is absolutely possible to fall in love with a man who has qualities that greatly out weigh his size “down there”.
Jamestown - I think it’s sweet you want to wait until marriage. While it is uncommon these days, I would only suggest you don’t base that opinion on fear.
For me, I had similar convictions, until I decided to face my fears associated with sex and to have it only with people I truly cared about. Because of this, I found that the majority of my sexual experiences were both fulfilling and meaningful.
Whatever your decision is, make sure it doesn’t take away from any other parts of your life. We only live once, so just giver!
hey Everyone,
i see Stacey’s point of view.
my friend is very cynical when it comes to women. i think that either guys & girls can be judgmental. there isn’t really a right or wrong here.
my fear about the sex thing is religious in nature. in Christianity we have forgiveness but were suppose to be controlled. it is hard being a guy needing that release. so when i had this scare of an std, guilt made the experience that much worse.
Stacey’s comment about 7 inches is her honest opinion & preference. being a smaller guy, i don’t take it personally or get offended.
i went away to Cuba last year & i met a girl from England. this was the first ever experience i had with a woman who i was incredibly attracted too, who was intelligent, great chemistry, conversations, connections, similar interests in psychology, philosophy, law, and much more. biggest turn off is hearing about drama, negative issues, celebrity gossip etc. i love “the wow factor.” by this i mean, the sexual appeal is there in attraction yet she challenges me in a positive manner that i marvel at what she says.
i spoke with a friend recently & we agreed it doesn’t matter how you cut it. when it comes to relationships, everyone is judgmental. then there is just being rude.
everyone has there own sexual preferences. everyone is different entirely as to there sexual appetite. some have unusual tastes while others more conventional.
the thing that bothered me about my scary experience is that it was in a relationship that it happened. my friend is 18 & she has hpv from a relationship. it is so much trust to have sex without a condom & even that isn’t full proof. it is so much trust.
the thing that in heightened my experience was guilt. coming from a strict Christian home, now being a man you have a conflict amongst yourself as to your desires & beliefs. it is difficult as men need that release.
in regards to marriage, i think this would be a difficult task. it is achievable though. then again, you can’t exactly tell what a woman prefers in size & you sure as hell don’t ask. Stacey says she prefers 7 inches. being 4 inches & bigger in girth then length which i guess some women like & others dislike. i am young still & not all that experienced but i would say a woman such as Stacey & others alike wouldn’t be sexually compatible but i think love & other elements add to the pleasures of sex & intimacy.
msmarieann, i appreciate your advise also. the fear however is guilt due to religious beliefs which makes it all that more difficult to deal with. i use to wonder if i will ever regret my decisions in not having more sex. after this experience, i am thankful i haven’t. the probability is there. i mean, you can’t dodge bullets like Super-man forever. i really liked your last sentences.
“Whatever your decision is, make sure it doesn’t take away from any other parts of your life. We only live once, so just giver!”
for so long, i was terribly insecure about having a small penis. how could i ever be insecure after this experience? i mean, it is what it is. i wont ever go through surgery to change things. i heard J.C. & other women say it doesn’t matter & there kool with even 4 inches. my best female friend told me the same. i am just so appreciative to have what i got, to have another chance in life. how hard it would be to tell someone you love you’ll scar them for life without a rubber when intimate. i am sure everyone women will agree that 4 inches is a lot more appealing without an std.
has anyone every seen the movie Alfie with Jude Law? great movie i will say. in a similar situation, i heard the best quote ever.
“There are two things I’ve learned in life: find someone to love and live everyday as if it were your last.”
truer words were never spoken.
Jamestown,
I don’t think there is anything wrong with waiting till marriage, nor do I think it is unrealistic to do this like Stacey said. Though I am clearly not married, and definitely not a virgin I support those who make that decision and if you find the right person they’ll wait for you!
There’s a lot of pressure out there to lose your virginity and even though I love doin’ it with my bf sometimes i wished till later in life to do it!
Just something to think about….
xoxo
hey Sabrina,
thanks for the reply. i guess after i heard J.C. talk about her friend with herpes & my scare, it seems less important to me now. intimacy has its place. guys and girls are pretty sex crazy these days. my brother is 13 and was telling me about pregnant girls in his elementary grade 7 class. i mean, it kinda makes me not want to have a family & bring up my children in such a mess of a world. when the time is right & i have the right woman in my life, i may feel different. right now i am trying to get back & be positive. i can’t believe what almost happen to me. its pretty scare. very inexperienced with sex & have pretty much out weighted the risks against the pleasures. i can live without i guess. i appreciate the video though. i think this will help men see past such an insecurity. all the best everyone. cheers.
James
Hey - I was given a link to this video by a friend and thought I should give my kudos: I’m actually in the UK, so I’m sure there’s some big cultural differences in US 20-somethings and us UK 20-somethings but it’s an interesting watch nonetheless. Though I’ve talked about my dick size with most of male friends and my female friends have heard all the rumours about me, it’s not something you can easily bring up over a couple of drinks without seeming incredibly gauche.
One thing I would refute a little are the bulge comments - I totally agree that if you’ve got some dude squeezed into leather chaps or spandex in the hopes of getting a few eyeballs his way, it’s fairly discouraging. But the larger men, there’s not really much we can do to disguise our bulges - I’m just over 9″ soft, and that’s not the sort of thing that’s easy to hide in most normal clothing. That sort of thing is no different than a woman with large breasts having no way to get rid of them (without a few tubes of duct tape, at least…) - it seems a shame it has to be treated so differently.
Two other talking points I was curious about that didn’t really come up in either of the videos I watched:
1. Would you rather know a guy is too big to prepare yourself for it? And how could a guy do that without coming off like a show-off?
2. How comfortable are you when it comes to talking about your boyfriends size to other people? (I know word has spread about me most places, but I’ve never heard much about other guys I know).
3. What’s your reaction when you hear rumours about a guy being really big (or vice-versa, I guess) - just good gossip or does it change your perceptions a little?
When it comes down to it, my opinion is that size doesn’t matter for 95% of guys but When you’re too small or too big, you start to get into problems - and while being my size has its benefits, I can imagine it would actually be easier being on the “too small” side of things since at least penetration is easily doable.
Will have to check out the other videos soon.
i got a female friend that got put into the hospital by her boyfriend. i mean, i don’t know why someone would hurt someone they love or just be an asshole like that. i think a lot of guys want the status of being porn star material in terms of dominance oppose to actual females’ pleasure.
Hi MattBarr
so glad you checked out the show and liked it and thanks for taking a couple minutes to post on here…to answer your questions..i am not sure of any other women and i don’t want to generalize for them but for me if i had heard ‘rumors’ about a guys size i don’t think it would change my perspective, unless i heard it was waaaay too big, then i might be a little more tentative to get to the point of hooking up with him….only because it seriously hurts a girl when a guy is too big, especially in length!!
as for how comfortable i am telling other people about my partners size?? i would probably chat with my girlfriends about it cuz that is what most girls do but i don’t think i would ever bring it up in casual conversation - i would think that would be embarrassing for my partner (even if he was big and was proud of it)…i don’t know maybe that is just me
and finally as for if i would want to know ahead of time if the guy is too big….not sure…i definitely wouldn’t want some dude i am on a date with start telling me about his penis size cuz i would just be immediately turned off since that really isn’t date conversation and would probably think that this guy has a very short shelf life in my world, but then again that is just me
any girls have any opinions on this???
Thanks for the reply - I agree that when it comes to bringing up penis-size to a girlfriend, I’d never be creepy enough to do it on a first date! I think that would get any woman to run away pretty fast.
And while it’s tacky and a bit weird to bring it up at all in the early stages of a relationship, at the same time I don’t like to waste time (theirs and my own) with someone who’s unwilling to experiment with (or physically unable to accomodate) a penis over twice the size of their previous boyfriends’. There are a lot of positions that help reduce lots of the problems that too much length causes but girth over a certain size seems impossible for most girls and it’s tough to get close to someone and then realise they find it too much to handle, which dooms any chance of a serious relationship.
fair enough…i could see how that would be a challenge and you would just want to put it out there so they could make their decision and not waste any time falling for the person only to have the relationship fail…i get it
have you had many girls bail cuz they just physically can’t have sex with you??
Hi Jill - that’s been a pretty regular occurence for me, although recently its been more common for my date to bail without actually even trying it to know for sure just because of thought of the pain/damage it could cause; I’m guessing this has a lot to do with the fact that back in high-school and college everyone knew about my size because of the gossip (like that Loaf guy you mentioned in your first video) so they were all prepared, but now I’m mostly getting dates from outside of my circle of friends, and they don’t get much warning (apart from a bulge, which as you say can be deceptive).
Of the 15 girls I’ve “been intimate with” aged 16-25, to put it nicely, none of them could accomodate all of it but 3 at least could handle the width okay. 4 found it difficult at first but worked up towards it - between toys (including special rubber-rings that help cushion some of the length) and lots of practice, things were good. 3 just tried and gave up fairly quickly, while 5 were scared away entirely. Each time and girl was totally different, though, so it seems weird to reduce them to just stats. Sorry if that was TMI - I was almost blushing writing it, but I couldn’t really answer your question properly without the details. It’s never a problem I’ve mentioned to a girl before, so thanks for listening.
hey stacey sry i didnt get back to you right away gee stacy the fact that you think of me now when you think of bulges is awsome haha and hot dog down a hallway is making fun of a big box not a small pecker
Well Jill
but he was a great lover and I doubt he ever offered more than half of it to me cause he paid attention to my responses 
As for girth I like girls too and I have been fully pleasured by girls with 2 skinny little fingers - I think that the whole girth thing can be so mental do we have to participate more and use our muscles yes - but frankly I think we should be doing that no matter what his girth - they sure enjoy it!
You asked for a girl’s opinion
First I almost pee’d myself on your shallow box comment rotflmfao!! but to the point guess I’ve got a shallow box too and yes I do kegels for fun but I really do think so much of this is mental - too long definitely a physical thing but hell that has to do with your lover - the guy that told me about this site has a louisville slugger between his legs - Sammy might be challenged
As far as telling me that your hung during our date byebye I mean I have never had a guy that was that thick that we just couldn’t do it (yes a little more fp may be required but really is that so bad!!) as far as getting it all in there no matter what - look if you insist on that well expect to be told to repack your package and get out!! finally in the extraordinary event that you are of such girth as we aren’t going to get there after some good fp well I think most women will find some other way to ensure that you reach satisfaction - so the night won’t be a total loss!
now that is what i call a ‘taker’ lucy!! hahaha and ahhh kegels…so great haha
and MattBarr…not TMI…i get what your saying…and i can’t say that i wouldn’t be one of those girls who bailed if it hurt too much…i am kind of a baby that way!! (boos from the crowd)
I guess I know what topic I won’t be bringing up on my third date this weekend - lol
I pretty much agree with lucyloowho - it is all about responding to your partner, controlling the length and good foreplay. If the guy and the girl are on the same page with that, everything’s golden. If we all had such a liberated attitude, things would be great! The only thing I’d disagree with is that it is a little presumptuous to think there are no penises too thick to handle - “big” is still very subjective and unless you’re with a Guinness World Record holder or something you have to consider how much girth some guys actually have (even compared to other indisputably big guys).
Thanks MattBarr,
just to clarify though I have no doubt that I could meet guys that are just too big. Mr. Louisville Slugger was certainly the most girth I have had to deal with and probably my Maximum capacity lol (he wasn’t a Coke can but he was probably somewhere around a Molson Cold Shots - Girls you can tell me if you think that is thick but for me it sure was) It did take a lot of fp but if you are hung like that I think you’ve got to figure on that
More to the point is how I left off my original comment - I don’t think a guy has to announce the size of his package in order to save himself the risk of “wasting his time actually getting to know me” (heaven forbid) There are other ways of making sure that Mr. Happy is kept Happy even if door #1 won’t open.. and just to avoid the question no I am not proposing door #2, but I think you get my drift. Yes, it may create an “impass” in your longterm relationship but how much of your precious time are you wasting here.I guess if you are the type of guy who wants to date for 6 months before ever even fondling enough for her to find out well then maybe blurt it out but I doubt that sort of “gentleman” would do that. Sorry — I do go on don’t I
Thanks for the clarification lucywhohoo - if only I knew what a Molson Cold Shot looked like lol (I am not Canadian, but am friends with quite a few).
I hope the point about not wanting to waste time didn’t come across as harsh - I know men can be beasts, but we’re not that bad! I’m not really a one-night stand person, so I normally just go out with people I’d hope to be fairly serious with - and like you say, there is such a thing as “too big” and in my experience its not good when a girl screams as soon as you take off your pants! I suppose it is just a question of persuasion - I guess that’s what I need tips with most.
And certainly no need to complain about going on too much - that’s a good thing on any blog comments section!
i definitely agree with you…lucy don’t appologize for going on…i highly encourage that…that’s what this section is for
as for a molson cold shot…for me i think that would be a bit too thick for me…i don’t want sex to hurt, i want to enjoy it and not worry about stretching myself beyond the point of no recovery haha
and matt i think a cold shot is about three inches wide or so…could be a bit bigger
OMG I read that went straight to the LCBO who are sold out of Cold Shots…3+ inches Ouch!!
Okay in the interest of clarity I asked Mr. Louisville Slugger for his stats told him why too cause he is a huge fan of the show! So here it is measured today “11″ long and 2 1/2″ diameter 7″ circumfrence” although he did say that it would surely be bigger if I was there … so typical lol! I got my floppy plastic ruler out and that sounds about right to me so there’s the nitty gritty ..you tell me if that is big but it sure pushed me to my limits..but I have made a full recovery Jill - think I am still tighter than a ducks arse (sorry but I had an English guy say that to me lol - you’ve got to imagine it with the accent:)
11″ long?!? that is insane to me…i could never do that!! good for you for being such a champ about it Lucy!! glad to hear you made a full recovery
As a Brit, I like the “duck’s arse” expression lol I’ve only ever heard it used referring to people being tight with money, so it’s a new one to hear it used literally lol
Mr Louisville Slugger is definitely big by anyones’ standards and its great that you were able to accomodate him. Unfortunately, I’m still quite a bit bigger in length and width - If Jill thinks 11″ is “insane” I hate to think what she’d say about anything more!
oh my gosh i am far too much of a wimp to accomodate anything larger then 11″ actually come to think of it i tap out after 8″!!!
OMG Jill!! I am not sure if I could handle all of 8″ let alone 11″..if you go back to my original post the point I tried to make was that he was a good lover because he never tried to put all 11″s in..”I doubt he ever offered more than half of it to me” I could never have handled that especially when it is that thick…if you know what I mean!!
And Matt I certainly have a better idea, crap do you have to have special pants made
But I do have to say that if we were to date and you told me about the behemoth over dinner (unless you were somehow extraordinarily smooth about it ..and if you have an english accent I think the ladies are likely to cut you more slack) I think that you would be killing at least the chance to see if it would work. But that’s just me and maybe I am not as big a girl as I thought I was..certainly I am not as big a girl as Jill thinks I am lol!!
hahaha lucy! i don’t by any means think you are ‘cavernous’ (to use marie’s phrase)
maybe the thought of 11″ just threw me off and i became tunnel visioned haha!
lol at “special pants”. I do have to wear fairly baggy clothing or I do get quite a few stares but other than that I am okay.
I don’t think I would ever bring the issue over dinner (since I am definitely not smooth, even with the accent!) but would prefer to bring it up just before things “escalate” so it doesn’t complicate things - I’ve never gone that far on a first date anyway, so it wouldn’t be something to just lay right on the table immediately (the issue, not the “behemoth” in your words lol)
Though I have had girls bring up rumours about my size during dates before and have never really known how to respond (other than blushing a lot!), so that is another problem.
“tunnel visioned” lol you always make me laugh Jill!
Matt, something tells me the rumour mill is going to be very good to you
yeah for real…the word of the bohemouth is out and a lot of girls watch this show…and hopefully read this post so that the issue is already out there and you don’t have to worry about it…now we just need some girls to step up who aren’t afraid to tackle the big B
“The Big B” is a much better nickname than I got for it in high school :p
I guess I will be introducing future girlfriends to the site if they haven’t found it already - they’ll find plenty of good stuff even if what they find out about me might be a little intimidating!
hahaha well at least you wont have to to tell them Big B…they can just find out on here and potentially avoid an awkward conversation