Ever been stuck in a relationship that just isn’t working? I know exactly how you feel. Jill and I were joking the other day that each of us could write an encyclopedia on our bad relationships. I always wished that I could just hit the delete button and make it go away however, in the real world that just doesn’t work.

Sometimes I think I’ve seen them all. Boring relationships, angry relationships, abusive relationships. . . It’s so hard to recognize that you are in a crummy union but here a few signs you should be looking out for. If your partner on several occasions belittles you or insults you to make themselves feel better or to make you uncomfortable that is a sure sign that there is a big problem. Even the best of us can lose our cool in the heat of the moment but we usually apologize for saying nasty things after we cool down. We might even say negative things that can be taken the wrong way. Confront them about their nasty words and they usually will say they’re sorry but if you get no remorse from them, it may be time to move on.

If there is ever any physical abuse (from you or your partner, it goes both ways people!) that is a major red flag. Using that kind of behavior in the heat of the moment is absolutely unacceptable regardless of the situation. If this is happening to you there is so much support out there if you need help getting out of an abusive relationship whether it be confiding in your close friends or many of the abuse hotlines that you can find in the phone book. They’ll also have a list of shelters that will be able to give you lots of advice and support if you find yourself in this situation. You are not alone and it is not your fault!

If, for whatever reason, you’ve decided that your relationship has soured, you have several options as to how to end it. There’s the classic phone break up (not recommended), the avoid-and-drop-off-the-face-of-the-earth approach or my favorite, the messenger break up (it has happened to me). Ok wait, none of those seem so great. I’ve always tried to use a break up method that reflected the relationship. In other words, I’ve executed it with the same amount of respect my partner has afforded me and always tried to retain some class. I avoid pointing fingers and name calling because that always ends poorly and makes us both upset (if they were a real jerk you can always use those names when describing them to your friends). If you are unsure of how they may take the news it’s best to do it in a public place so they can’t make a scene and you can make a quick getaway.

All in all you can’t make a formula for an easy break up. They stink and nobody really wants to do it. The best you can do is learn from your experiences in the relationship and try to recognize patterns and personality traits that led you to the split. That way you don’t have to repeat awful experiences and you can find your true prince/princess charming.

Cheers!

Sammy

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Tired of working for the man? Or…the woman? Or anyone? Cool. Maybe it’s time to start chasing your dream and run your own business! I know first hand how much work, and determination you need to put in to make your adventure a success no matter what it is. But I also know how massively rewarding it can be.

One piece of advice I can give you is to find out as much as you can about the field you are planning to launch your business in. All of it! You need to know the good, the bad and the ugly so you go in with your eyes open.

Make an effort to talk to business owners (industry related or not) for any information or tips they might have. There are a million invaluable little nuggets that you may not have thought of that someone else can shed some light on.

You can also take that meet-and-greet mindset up a notch by attend different networking parties where you can meet lots of new people in your chosen field.  And keep in mind EVERYONE is a contact. The Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon is not just a movie trivia game, but a philosophy that affects business.  That person you’re chatting with may have no idea about the business you’re in…but his sister just happens to work for your dream client!  So maybe it’s not a foot in the door. Maybe it’s just your big toe in the door. The point is…the door is open. So be nice, follow up with a call or email and start working your connections.

Get to the point! Lots of people seem to have the mindset of asking for a favor from a potential new client or sponsor. So they start off with a “sorry to bother you…” approach. Kind of a negative foot to start on. My producer always talks about how in Canadians tend to think defensively (“I don’t want to interrupt”, “I should go slow incase it doesn’t work”, “Is this a bad time?”) whereas Americans tend to think offensively (“You have to check out this offer”, “I can really help your business”, “Give me two minutes of your time.”).

Which one do you think will get you better results? You can still be polite and charming…and assertive.

Finally, never under estimate the power of guerilla marketing and old fashion word of mouth.  In my opinion, word of mouth can be the best and most effective form of advertising. It has been the biggest and most effective marketing tool for
TwentySomething and we have been fortunate enough to have our small army of viewers spread the word to their friends to create and even bigger army.

Today and Internet series…tomorrow THE WORLD!!!

Now there is a business plan!

Peace
J

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