Blog Post
Time To Go
Ever been stuck in a relationship that just isn’t working? I know exactly how you feel. Jill and I were joking the other day that each of us could write an encyclopedia on our bad relationships. I always wished that I could just hit the delete button and make it go away however, in the real world that just doesn’t work.
Sometimes I think I’ve seen them all. Boring relationships, angry relationships, abusive relationships. . . It’s so hard to recognize that you are in a crummy union but here a few signs you should be looking out for. If your partner on several occasions belittles you or insults you to make themselves feel better or to make you uncomfortable that is a sure sign that there is a big problem. Even the best of us can lose our cool in the heat of the moment but we usually apologize for saying nasty things after we cool down. We might even say negative things that can be taken the wrong way. Confront them about their nasty words and they usually will say they’re sorry but if you get no remorse from them, it may be time to move on.
If there is ever any physical abuse (from you or your partner, it goes both ways people!) that is a major red flag. Using that kind of behavior in the heat of the moment is absolutely unacceptable regardless of the situation. If this is happening to you there is so much support out there if you need help getting out of an abusive relationship whether it be confiding in your close friends or many of the abuse hotlines that you can find in the phone book. They’ll also have a list of shelters that will be able to give you lots of advice and support if you find yourself in this situation. You are not alone and it is not your fault!
If, for whatever reason, you’ve decided that your relationship has soured, you have several options as to how to end it. There’s the classic phone break up (not recommended), the avoid-and-drop-off-the-face-of-the-earth approach or my favorite, the messenger break up (it has happened to me). Ok wait, none of those seem so great. I’ve always tried to use a break up method that reflected the relationship. In other words, I’ve executed it with the same amount of respect my partner has afforded me and always tried to retain some class. I avoid pointing fingers and name calling because that always ends poorly and makes us both upset (if they were a real jerk you can always use those names when describing them to your friends). If you are unsure of how they may take the news it’s best to do it in a public place so they can’t make a scene and you can make a quick getaway.
All in all you can’t make a formula for an easy break up. They stink and nobody really wants to do it. The best you can do is learn from your experiences in the relationship and try to recognize patterns and personality traits that led you to the split. That way you don’t have to repeat awful experiences and you can find your true prince/princess charming.
Cheers!
Sammy
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Great advice! My first serious relationship turned out to be a pretty emotionally abusive one, and I was so blinded by “love” that I never let myself see that there was anything wrong. We all definitely deserve much better than that!
we have all been there Scarlett…i have been in more then my fair share of those type of relationships…but at least you are out of it and have learned the valuable lesson of spotting the signals before you get too deep into the relationship and get ‘blinded by love’
and thanks for checking out the show…i recognize your name from Twenty Something Bloggers!